Arsinos News
A place for all map game news and events. Like in the old wiki. Add latest news to the newest section of the page at the top ('''Page was a mess, so previous stories have been moved to Past News) Looking forward to the weekend! *After the apparant success of Operation Banane Stahl forces launch another operation aimed at securing Waxahatchee, the 2nd fleet blockades the coastline lauching assualts on what was merrythought. Meanwhile the 1st fleet has been deployed to retake Damnos and return it to Stahl hands. *After uncertainty, Dalanian Navy surrounds and beseiges Damnos, while forces advance into AS territory, seeking to take former lupinis territory as far as the city of Nedezdi. *Lornon begins attacking Waxahatchee, that is newly owned by AS. *FushierAN fleet 2 (Minus Jane) and fleet 3, attack southern AAC (now southern AS-AAC) **FusheriAN forces also assist in pure defence at Bananalon with ABC Anima assisting. *the battered remenants of a once proud pirate fleet pull up on the shores of Northern kaneland. they seem to be grumbling baout getting a new leader now that that Sparrow fella has b******* off. *In a speech to thousands of Nationalist supporters in Stahlberg Jorhan Stahl announces laws banning other political parties and elections in the federation citing growing tensions around Arsinos. This suprise move will surely lead to protests in the federation and be seem as a step back to the undemocratic ways of the old empire. *Shaderia's suggestion on land distribution to end the Stahlian-UN War. The Rail signifies the AAC/Stahl border and will hopefully lead into DPRSJ and Novak. Mini Me suggestion that Stahl must replace the B52 ABC, build the new airport, as well as pay for rail construction in order to compensate for damage caused and lives lost. *An attempted suicide bombing by the Cult of the Machine God on Loveshack has been foiled. The cultists are growing desperate in their attempts to gain Bio-Transference. *Kaneland scientists are working on virus technology at farpoint research station. Kane is also interested in developing nuclear power form the newly discovered uranium. *With the Toastervision Contest concluded King Solomon returns to his crypt in Chakrh for some much needed rest. *The Live Final for Toastervision 14 has now been concluded with Novak taking victory at 101 points! Everyone praises Shaderia's impecable job as hosting, and even though Shaderia's entry came last, they are fine and dandy like sour candy. *AAC and UP launch campaign to colonise as much of the South West of the new continent as possible. Lauching ships and resources from AAC mainland and Fozamor **Shaderia and Fusonia seek to claim land in the North West. *The north west continent has seen dinosaur activity reduce to an extent that it has become habitable and explorable, hence the colonisation has begun *The Stahl-Kaneland energy partnership has been extended to Uranium as well as oil. Speaking from a carrier generously donated by Stahl to help the Kaneland Navy combat piracy Kane spoke to the press about how this deal would bring the technology of Stahl and the security arrangements of kaneland to stabilize the volatile region Kanelandistan and provide uranium for use in energy and medical purposes. Kane: I see a bright future ahead of our great nations as we turn that beautiful nuclear glow into a blinding flash of creativity and dynamism to revitalise our economies and bring stability to the region. The stock price of Kane Industries rose after the announcement. *A Durkastani separatist leader is gunned down after making a speech that Durkastan should use its uranium resources to develop itself own economy to make a future Durkistani state viable and called Kane a parasite. Kane announces on state TV that violence in the region will not be tolerated and has sent in the military to protect the citizens of the Durkastan region from violent separatist terrorist. Kaneland is in high level talks with industrialized countries about forming an international partnership to extract the uranium. *After years of faithful service to Shaderia, the aircraft carrier Kronos is retired and inaugerated into the Shaderian Military History Museum as a shining beacon to tenacity and strength. *Amun-Seth, possibly due to mass fear, announces its departure from the UN and leaves. It's military appears to be mobilising. *The Stahl Federation launches Operation Banane, the annexing of Bananalon into the much more capable hands of the Federation. *3 deposits of uranium have been discovered: 1 south of Xehopi (UP), 1 southwest of Skane (Fusonia) and 1 slightly west of Durka (Kaneland) *The Table disappears from whoever had it and people speculate it is in the West Portas Ocean, East of Lornon. Lornonian forces go to investigate the site in the hope of retrieving the table. Scout forces from DPRSJ also leave for the site. *Highly specialised factories unused since the fall of the Stahl empire are reopened the exact product being manufactured is highly classified. *A source claiming to represent Rebecca Black demands President Selena Gomez step down Santa was shot down, Christmas is over *After a brieft conflict combined forces of AAC and UP subdue Wales - ending the Wabbitist War. Wales becomes a joint protectorate of UP and AAC. *Kaneland agrees that with the worsening security situation every country must be free to arm themselves free from costly UN beaureaucracy. Also since the UN couldn't even protect the Table then how seucre are the UNs nuclear weapon/s. kane does not support putting all the nuclear weapons in one basket so to speak. *With his UNEC term almost over Jorhan Stahl and the nationalists regain the majority in recent elections. Upon regaining power Stahl immediately signs an order deporting all UN weapon inspectors from the Federation. *In a freak accident Dr. Horrible has blown himself up when one of his new weapons backfired. He is still alive but sufferes intermittent episodes of split personality disorder, aggression and amnesia. *Kane is attempting to contact the Machine cult to arrange an exchange a deal. He is offering Jr in place of Nigella. *An unknown group of hackers have released Dalanian military communication documents hinting at the initiation of a 'Project Leviathan', though what this project is remains unknown to all but the highest ranking military officials. *The Followers of Toasted Enlightenment spread across Arsinos to all of the countries who have not yet sent their votes. They constantly chant in the language of Toast in the capital cities and will only be appeased by the votes of that nation. *AAC sends a couple of carriers, a fair amount of planes, and a reasonable-ish size land force to attack Buccaneer island. *T he First Lady of Lornon, Myleene Klass, watches with joy as the Shaderian Fleet attacks northern Bucaneer Island in a brutal frenzy. *AAC announces plans to slow down its building projects a little, particularly on main island projects, for fear of ending up in a situation similar to SE. Carriers Jesse Pinkman, Mr Chainsaw, plus airborne carrier Supernatural will be put in reserve to slow down the military budget. In addition, AAC announces plans to build more efficient oil refineries and rigs to increase productivity. All other projects will continue as usual. *Zeddie Little of Lornon requests a pure defence alliance with DPRSJ to protect them both from future attacks. PM Little says that nations really need to stop "stepping on the little guy!" This will take place after the third war of the table has been concluded. *A cease fire of the Isles of Red is called for and Stahl agrees to attack Bucaneer Island with Shaderia if they leave the isle alone. Shaderia leaves some troops near the island incase stahl goes back on the deal and Stahl's 2nd Fleet help Shaderia attack the island. The 1st fleet return to Adelphi. *ACB Anima, Super Carrier Cyanide and Regular Carriers Happiness and USG Executioner start their attacks on the Isles of Red *After a trap set by Jim Moriarty, the Avengers discover Magneto was being blackmailed, and is now dead. The trap also served as a distraction whilst Masher, who appears to have made his first move, killed Sethos and committed a cyber-attack upon ABU, displaying the following message to the entire world, seeking international supports for his genocidal plans. *Kaneford Port Constriuction begins. Once port is complete it will construct Supercarriers for Kaneland. *Kanegella sends a taskforce to drive off the Shaderian fleet which is bombarding Buccaneer island and endangering the nearly extinct coco monkey. *Stahl forces on alert around buccaneer island launch a suprise attack against Shaderian and Lornonian forces bombarding the island. The 2nd Fleet leads the assualt with close support from Westerau and Scharfenberg Airbases meanwhile the 1st fleet stationed in Adelphi prepares for Shaderian reinforcements from the west supported by Reichendorf Airbase. *Kane Jr is given an ASBO and an electronic tag by Kanegella. He has been told to do 2000 hours of community service while listening to One direction. He is curently removing litter off the beaches of the holiday island. he is being monitored by a team of police to prevent him absconding. *4th ABU Report ' - brief UN and economic overview *The Pirates engage the Shaderian Fleet off the coast of Buckaneer Island. The Shaderian bombardment has caused some rum to be spilled which has made the pirates really p***** off. "Take no quarter". Meanwhile the other pirate fleet lead by Katy Perry has landed on Lapainland and the pirates are reportedly hiding in burrows waiting for a order from Jack. *Kane Jr attempts to assasssinate his father by activating a poisoned ring that leaves kane is a severley weakend state. Kane is currently recovering on the holiday island and Kanegella has ascended to leader. kane Jr has been put into the holday island and will soon be transported to the mainland. *Kane Jr assasinates his wife, Harry Styles, with one shot to the head on The Holiday Island in the name of the machine god . He tries to escape, but is quickly caught by Kaneland authorities. *The guards from the Loveshack museum capture Russell Brand and steal a Yacht, leaving behind their jobs to plunder the seven seas for cocaine and wenches. The leader of the guards is a man named Barbossa. *Kanelands environmental commission complans that Shaderia is damaging the endmic flora and fauna fo Buccaneer island and committing a crime against the environment. *After the Pirates stole the table from The Loveshack Solomon swore to destroy them. After a randocratic vote Lornon agreed to offer assistance and so their navy, alongside the Aircraft Carrier (Kronos) and SuperAircraft Carrier (Valhalla) from Shaderia, initiate a barrage upon Buccaneer Island. Edward Leech, brutal pirate of the Suporcian Seas also offers his services to King Solomon as long as he can loot the island for himself. *In a daring raid the Pirates steal the table from Loveshack *Dave Grohl, AAC president, has been reported missing. A note is found in his office saying that he just can't take the hatred directed towards him since the false accusations of paedophillia and has decided to end it all. It is written in blood. Elections are due to start tomorrow. His VP, Doctor Who, will not be standing as president owing to prior commitments involving the Wabbito/Welsh war. *Despite initial protestations, Kane Jr decides to accept Harry Styles as his wife, and gives him a ring, which is quickly stolen by Kane. They head to the holiday island for their honeymoon. *Kane Jr gets married to Harry Styles from One Direction the highly popular musician *Alec is found dead aboard an abandoned ship that ran aground on the shores of Loveshack. He was burned alive inside a brazen bull. On the bull is written the words 'GLORY TO THE MACHINE GOD!'. *A huge explosion in Cabra seemingly kills Taylor Swift and Carly Rae Jepsen, presidents of Novak & UP respectively. Catwoman is spotted fleeing the scene. *Many Sethians are going on strike over the leadership crisis. Sethos has put those who strike in prison, and issuing harsh penalties to those who cause disruption. Magneto, meanwhile, seems to have disappeared. *Pirates are sighted near Loveshack island. possibly on their way to Wales or Lapainland. *The pirates accept Katy Perry (now a man for the purposes of being a pirate) as a pirate after the quits as vice president to go roving the sea with Capatin Jack. In the process Perry marries Russel brand whi was picked up the the pirates white they were raiding DPRSJ. Katy Perry is considered to be the UP Artefact. *The undead prostitutes from Shaderia become hungry and consume the genitalia of many pirtates whilst performing sexual favours. **Pirate 1: It was worth it. *Pirates accept Stalin Doggs Bong as the artefact for DPRSJ and then try to steal Stalin Doggs light saber as well. The pirates head off to UP and are nearing the end of their quest. *A propaganda compaign is launched to increase support for Wales against the Wabbits. *Relationships between Sethos and Magneto suporters are worsening in Amun-Seth. Civil war looks like a certainty at this point. Magneto orders to construction of a naval and military base on Damnos in order to prepare. *Pirates accept the holy Toilet seat from Salopian empire and stop off at the Falklands/Tacovinas to load up on mexican food. Then it is on to DPRSJ. Captain Jack intends to integrate the seat into a pirate throne on Buckaneer Island *Kaneland gets a new Flag *Protests break out in kaneland over UN membership. *Toastervision 14 Submission Deadline is announced to be February 1st, don't delay, submit today! *The pirates in Dalania make off with Railas's helmet as the Dalania artefact. The pirates are reportedly heading for Salopian Empire. *Pirates arrive in lapinland and offer their services for a price. *Kaneish Arm's dealer with ties to the Kaneland regieme arrive in Wales to sell weapons. *A woman was saved from a burning building just outside of Kalopsia. Reports flood in that she was saved by Captain Hammer. *Dalanian weapons technicians have publicly announced the development of a number of battlesuit variants following the testing carried out by Ozriel Kais. *Strange, faint pulses are being sensed from deep within the un-named sea. The existence of the pulse is strictly top secret and a quarantine has been placed in the un-named sea. *Having reached Lupinis' capital, the Steel Tide are ordered by Magneto to advance even further, to take everything west of the second river as well. *Oil is discovered just south of Shaderia and Shaderia/Fusonia, AS/Pullonia, Dalania and the SE all go to get some oil, with Shaderia taking the biggest share. In light of the new discovery, and the lowering of reliance on AAC supplies, King Solomon sends the AAC a picture of him bathing in a bathtub of the precious black goo. *A statue of Dr Horrible is erected in Solarchapel in celebration of Shaderia's Toastervision win and his general work on the UNEC. *As a result of the lives lost and the general carnage on Loveshack, the mass media and the general public are blaming the Avengers for the lives lost. With the team five members down, Sethos has made the difficult decision of disbanding the group and allowing the Avengers to return to their normal lives, with their identity intact. The Avengers, it seems, are no more... *Sethians gather in the streets of Devil's Crag in anticipation of the Toastervision result. Even machines get excited by the magic that is TV. *While the Toastervision 13 final happens, emmisaries from AAC, UP, Novak, DPRSJ, Shaderia and Stahl all congregate in Telford to watch and discuss the event. It is now acceptable to talk about Christmas (but please don't) *Magneto pushes harder into Lupinis, offering no quarter and threatening to obliterate anything that does not get out of the Tide's advances fast enough. *Lupinis retreats from its west under invasion from the Steel Tide. They evacuation people and resources, destroying technology they can't take but leaving structures and land intact *Laina is appointed overly-attached-foreign minister and Selena Gomez is appointed as Swifts heir. *Jeremy Davis of Paramore is also running for Geliebte mayor. He is expected to find favour with non-Germanic voters. *An Austrian artist has become a huge sensation in Geliebte, AAC. Due to the cities love of him, his views for a better world and his dislike of juice it is speculated that should he run for the mayoral office he will practically be running unopposed. *After The Devilish Rogue was spotted in Northern Dalania, a group of cloaked assassins, led by The Silent Shadow , went to destroy him once and for all. After capturing, and murdering, several of the Rogues high ranking benefactors they discovered that he planned on tainting the water supply with LSD and then followed him to a bustling city where his plan would take place. A large scale fight ensued between the Assassins and the Rogue's extensive army of midget henchmen, who bared an uncanny resemblence to the Rogue and McCall. There were many casulties in the fight, including several civilians when the battle leaked out into the streets. ** The Silent Shadow followed the rogue into an abandoned warehouse while the other assassin's took care of the henchmen. As she entered through one of the doors a trap was triggered and the warehouse exploded. The Shadow was partially burnt in the blast but her fast reflexes and fire resistant cloak reduced the damage considerably. As she lay on the floor, vision still fuzzy from the heat, The Rogue stood over her with a dagger in his hand. He plunged it into the Shadow's left arm and listened to her scream with a sado-masochistic joy. He pulled the dagger out and brought it down towards her chest when a bullet tore right through his palm, sending the dagger flying and keeping The Shadow from harm. The other Assassins had come to her aid. Howling in pain the Rogue eloped, using the old machinery, flames and smoke to avoid the onslaught of assassin bullets and arrows. The Shadow survived but the injury was bad. She returned to their base in order to recover. *Amun-Seth's Steel Tide invades Lupinis, with it's four airborne carriers, with the goal of ocupying everything west of the river running down the center, including the city Nadezdi. *Magneto has foiled a cultist plot to send a bomb down the Amun-Seth HSR to Loveshack. These attacks are getting more daring. AS's prison, The Spire, is filling up with the bastards. *Burt Reynolds decides that he's going to be king of Fusonia. He challenges PM White Joe to a fight but Priminister Joe knows when to back down. Many Fusonian's are confused as it doesn't have a monarchy and never has, but Reynold's demands to be king and most people are happy to go along with it. White Joe will stay as Prime Minister but it looks as though his power will be quite limited. **King Solomon is very suspicious of Fusonia being run by a monarch and travels to Fusonia to find out what is going on. *Sethos has discovered that Jim Moriarty is currently organising the Cult of the Machine God and their attacks. This news is extremely worrying. Many believe that Jim was a key figure in helping Masher's rise to power in the Dog Bollock days. *The Stahl Federation in line with a more isolationalist and economic agenda places roughly half its navy, an airbase and a third of the army into a reserve status to lessen the militarys burden on the economy. *The Avengers are attacked at their new HQ, the aircraft carrier Shield, by Laura Duccont, who uses her puppet Hayley Williams to defeat the team whilst she summoned a storm to bring the carrier down. However, the Avengers defeated Hayley and Duccont fled the scene. Helsing refuses to excorsise Hayley to save her, resulting in some tensions between the team. *Dave grohl is tried and acquitted of all charges relating to Paedophillia. He is returned to his job as AAC president. Noel Edmunds is found guilty of indecent assault and child abuse, and is sentenced to 30 months imprisonment in a UN facility, while being stripped of all power. *Sethos makes a worrying anouncement - the pro-Masher religion, the Cult of the Machine God, has turned extremist. The worldwide organising has starting bombing government buildings, upper class estates and technology centers. Devil's Crag has reported two attacks publically, but there have been three others that are not public knowledge. ''(Trying to start a big Avenger storyline with this - feel free to join in and annouce cultist activity or whatever to big it up! Masher isn't involved, just the cult) *After the loss of two carriers in the Saturday war anger towards the current nationalist party in Stahl results in elections with the republican party led by Ronald Reagan regaining control of the government after a disasterous attempt to intervene in Lupinis. *Jepsen with the consent of Up's national assembly delays elections until hurricane McCall is over and relief is delivered in "full" to Agro *Avril Lavigne use of her "Rock n Roll" video proves popular with voters but Perry counter attacks using squirty cream. *SPS Xehopi sent to Agro to lead relief efforts UP also orders more supplies to be sent via its navy and Home Guard divisions to aid rescuers. *President Jepsen visits Fozamor to mak its return as UP protectorate she plans to go to Agro when the storm has cleared. Leaving Vice President Perry to deal with the Saturday war and reelection campaign. *A group of adventurers who had been exploring in the un-named sea drift towards Fozamor. Out of the seven only one man is alive, the others have been brutally murdered with makeshift weapons. The lone survivor seems to have gone insane, he is talking to people who are not there, is incredibly paranoid and has sliced strange markings into his skin. Whenever he is questioned the only thing he says is "Make us whole." **Magneto seems highly suspicious by this news. The leader of the Steel Tide goes on a personal mission to locate this survivor and 'study' him at the Spire. Humanly, of course. *Solomon sends a "house-warming" gift to Kane to welcome him to New Kaneland. It consists of 20 concubines, a segway encrusted in saphires and a box of "after-eight" mints. *A huge hurricane appears in The Loveless Ocean, it appears to be heading East. Argo and SE will be severely affected. *After receiving no information since the vessel crashlanded people from all over Arsinos are demanding to know what landed in the Wharrgarbl Sea. The Shaderian government says that it was just an old satellite but people are still not convinced. Rumours are starting to fly. *The Stahl 1st fleet launches raids against military targets in Rio and Zoio with border forces on high alert. *UP invades eastern Lupinis aiming to create a corridor to cut off Stahl supply lines. *The pirates land in Dalania but after failing to decide on any artefact that symbolizes Dalania they decide to move on to AAC. *AAC decides to annex the land it has taken in the Saturday war and officially stop fighting. *The Stahl Federation sends reinforcements to the Saturday war including the new airborne carrier USS Westerau. *French becomes an official language of Shaderia alongside Black Speech, Mongolian, Cat and Middle Age English. *After burning down the Rainforest of New kaneland the UN occupiers sieze Patrice Wilson and extradite him to Novak where he will not face a fair trial. The UN refuses compensation to Kaneland and adds further insult by insisting that Kaneland will be suspended for a"Week or two" which is an obvious ploy to prevent UN reform which is what Kane was campaigning for. Overall this has left the people of Kaneland with a lasting hatred for the UNEC which Kane believes is a authoritarian beaurocratic monstroity that is reclessly abusing its power to use UN troops to follow laws that it narrowly interprets while being completley hostlile to being questioned and making itself effectivley unanswerable by suspending members who criticize it on trumped up charges of breaking international law. Kane believes that if he does not have a legitimate outlet to voice his concerns he has no option but to bring the rage of the people agaisnst the UNEC in a more direct way. *After a standoff with the UNEC in which Kaneland is suspended (again) Patrice Wilson flees in a plane to the rainforests of New kaneland where he is searched for by UN troops and Kaneland security forces. *Stahl Federation agrees to build 2 carriers for New kaneland which will be paid for by New Kaneland. *Stahl Federation and New Kaneland in recognition of the value of mutual cooperation establish joint ownership of the oil in the Southern Green Sea. High level talks on future development are said to be taking place. *Kaneland News Corp announcement: Old Kaneland fell due to moral decline and a dependance on mundane technology. New kaneland be founded on the new religion of Kaneism and a hard working people shall unite to build a proeperous country. *Death and Emma Stone of the UNEC, as per the UNGA resolution, have allocated the large island in the south east of Arsinos as "New Kaneland". Kane is given this land to run as he sees fit. *Magneto mobilises the Steel Tide to the border of UP and Stahl, in order to add defense. Two airborne carriers are kept in reserve at the UP/Stahl border. *The Stahl Federation joins the Saturday war aiming to liberate occupied Lupinis and push north to join up with Lupinis forces. Stahl's force is led by two airborne carriers whilst troops along the UP border prepare for any counter attacks. *The Stahl Federation order troops along the borders of North Kanelander and west Vetlander to dig in whilst deploying more troops to the border with Lupinis. *Masher's followers finally make a hostile move - an advanced supercarrier is stolen from Amun-Seth and sets sail into the Whargarbl Sea. AS fleets have followed the ship, but it has completely disappeared from sight. Sethos expresses doubt that Masher himself is even leading these cultists, but rather that they are just fanatics. *Taylor Swift Hires Heston Blumenthal to creat a giant falafel in Al Falafel *Operation Swiftmas a success whilst LNP in Novak rallies against the war *The "Horrible Death Stone" is elected as the 4th UNEC *Pirates decide to branch out into mercenary work call the pirates today for a quote!!! **Weren't the Pirates originally mercenaries for Kaneland? They're moving up in the world. *In the time of transition KLF activists attack government buildings. *Its Changeover day in Al-Falafel, old roadsigns are being removed and driving on the right is now being enforced *Kaneland liberation front creates a logo.(shown on the right) *The pirates decide to visit London (Pullonia) with the intent of stealing the london eye and returning it to Buckaneer bay). This may be part of a plan to aquire artifacts from every nation. *The Kaneland liberation Front has been formed in former kaneland. It's primary objective it to restore the teritorial integrity of Kaneland and allow Kane to return as leader. (the party funding appears to be coming offshore). A spokesman says that while they do not suppot volence they will do whatever is neccessary to acheive their objective. *New Salopians are asking the Salopian Empire to liberate their fellow countrymen from AAC oppression. **New Salopia belongs to UP now. **The Salopians burn UP flags and are chanting down with UP. You cannot trade us around like meat at a marketplace. This is our land and will die defending it or do you know nothing of honor. Salopia will rise again. *New Salopian citizens send a request to Salopian empire to emigrate their citizens to Shropshire. *Stahl forces withdraw and are more evenly deployed across entire border to reduce tensions in the area. *Kane Jr gets scared, and misses his dad. He tries to flee for the holiday island, but his cabinet stop him. He goes and cries in the corner, not being cut out to govern land. He gives a small slither of land to AAC as part of Waxahatchee (connecting Waxahatchee to the sea by the DPRSJ border), and out of distress, panic, and frustration with AAC's incompetence and Stahl's bullying, puts the rest up for auction on a random number generator. **1-10 SE **10-20 Shaderia **20-30 Novak **30-40 Dalania **40-50 Kaneland **50-60 UP **60-70 Amun-Seth **70-80 Lupaia **80-90 Lupinis **90-100 Scorched Earth ***The number comes out as 56, meaning almost all of KaneJrLand is given to UP! Kane Jr then flees to the holiday island in the hope that his dad will have him back. *Stahl returns fire with ICBMs of its own fired at Kalopsia *AAC takes this personally, and ICBM's Stahlberg, while mobilising the fleet. (Seriously, can't Stahl go one week without starting a war of some kind?) *The Stahl Federation invades KaneJrland citing outstanding debts from Kanejrs stay in the federation. Using troops that have been massing in north Kanelander for weeks Stahl creates two invasion fronts one to the east and one to west of Bananalon. The eastern invasion heads for merrythought led by the USS Port Kanetown whilst the western invasion is led by the USS Vettin. The Stahl 2nd Fleet is deployed in the northern Green sea area in preperation for any counter strike from the AAC Navy whilst the 1st fleet remains in Adelphi. *A UFO lands in the south of the Wharrgarbl Sea, Fusonian and Shaderian forces have gone to investigate the crash site. *In New Salopia people are on strike and are attempting to occupy government buildings. "The people demand the fall of the regime" *Theres only so much we can do to appease New Salopia, we're not giving it back. *The New Salopians are demanding a bigger cake and their independence and says that the AAC leadership is out of touch with their needs. *AAC offers New Salopians cake. It also sends the military there to make sure any protests don't get out of hand. *Mayor Towlie drives his car into an AAC checkpoint and begins a revolution in new Salopia to reestablish the sovereignty of that territory. *The Devilish Rogue is furious at his defeat in the cave beneath The Big Brother House and is distraught to have learnt that Davina McCall, the one woman he loved, has died. Only moments after the initial news reports of the BB house being destroyed the airways were highjacked by The Devilish Rogue and he sweared to avenge his beloved. "My first act of redemption is shining the light in the shadows," he says through tears as he holds up a picture of Davina. Amanda Duchamp is The Silent Shadow , and I shall bring her fall." Footage from inside the BB house is then shown, revealing the Shadow's appearance. *The Avengers are kidnapped and forced into the Big Brother house! Luckily, they managed to overcome the challenges they faced and save the world a third time. However two Avengers, Barney and Stephen Hawkings, did not survive the final battle. *Rissitance to Stahl grows in kaneland as people demand the return of their sovereignty. *An odd development - hundreds of people are gathering at the Big Brother house in hysterical excitement. The festival buzz surrounding the building would leave one believing that a new series of the show is about to start. Upon being interviewed, however, the crowd simply screams and cheers, instead of answering questions. Many have screamed so much their vocal chords have snapped and bled, leading to a few fatalities. However, the situation seems to be vaguely under control. People are wondering… what on earth is going on, and who are the new house members going to be?! Mission tommorow from 6! *In a move the improve ties with Lornon the 2nd Fleet of the Stahl Federation sails for Thane. *The Stahl Federation begins massing troops in north Kanelanden and annexes the pirate island near Port Kanetown. *A combined force made up of AAC, Dalania, Amun-Seth and Pirates blow the crap out of SE's oil rigs. SE sends ICBM's to AAC's oil rigs, which are heavily defended. SE mobilises its grand fleet, and AAC, Dalania & Amun-Seth mobilise their land armies. *Riots break out in Port Kanetown as the alcohol supply runs dangerously low. *The Kaneish Liberation Coalition form with the intention of insuring that Stahl listen to the international orders they have faced, either by diplomacy or force should it ultimately be necessary. *The Stahl Federations 1st fleet is deployed in Reichendorf whilst the 2nd fleet maintains its current deployment in Port Kanetown. Aircraft from Scharfenberg Airbase have been deployed to Kanesvilles airport to aid in any attack on the city whilst troops are deployed to the three main cities. *The Stahl Federation demands that UN peacekeepers leave as they are no longer needed. *Saturday unexpectedly flops at number 63 on the AAC charts. Experts blame the fact it was released on a Sunday. *Today is the 7th anniversary of Mapzor! Celebrations are occuring all around Arsinos! Here's to another 7! *Deceased President Rebecca Black has been depicted in song and music video Saturday prequel to her revered Friday along with "Dave". This skyrockets to number 1 in Novak and The United Provinces and causes a torrent of conspiracy theories around her death and the song. "Dave" has reportedly been arrested in Rio and extradited to Novak with alleged torture involved in his interrogation. There are also unverified reports of RBs body being exhumed but there is currently a lot of secrecy in Novak regarding this issue. Novak also vows to persue alleged Paedo Patrice Wilson more aggressively. Meanwhile the video also depicts an imitation of Miley Cyrus which angers the real Miley Cyrus who breaks into the presidential palace of Cheryl Cole UP like a wrecking ball and crushing Cole. A new UP president will be selected at random as per her wishes. *AAC announces that the city in waxahatchee on the river aiight will be named Kalopsia, and that road and rail networks will be built connecting it to merrythought, new falafel, and DPRSJ. *Magneto is anounced as the sucessor to Sethos and the future lord of Amun-Seth. He is placed in charge of the Steel Tide. *kanegella is born to proud parents Kane and Nigella on the Holiday Island private hospital. kane expects great things of her. *A recent poll suggests that most kaneland people say Kane Jr lacks the qualities of Kane and they want Kane to return. In a seperate poll AAC was rated as the most uncool country in Arsinos. **Really, AAC is less cool than Stahl? *After being bombed and killed for the last few weeks it will take more than promises of equality and investment to make the Kaneland people discard their national identity and sovereignty and cosy up to the Stahl Federation. Expect resistance. Some citizens are starting a vidual round thestatue of Kane. *The Federation votes to keep the statue of Kane and repurpose the stadium whilst also allocating extra funding to demolish the slums and rebuilt Kanesville into a modern city inline with the rest of the federation. The experimental reactor complex in Kanye Westville will also be mantained and used by the federation. *The Stahl Federation forms the recently acquired territory into the state of Kanelanden giving it the same rights as any other state in the federation. 3rd ABU Report ''' *the Salopian people in New Salopia are demanding independence and an end to the injustice of AAC oppression. *In response to Kane, Kane Jr states that he would have defended Kanejuniorland if anyone else had come to aid him in his attempts to rid the fascist scum from the area. Stahl had two very powerful allies, whereas AAC was the only country who would protect Kanejuniorland. *In a move widley regarded as a sign of weakness kane Jr makes a deal with Stahl Federation and splits KaneJrLand in half with the Upper half being absorbed into AAC and teh southern half going to Stahl. Kane: " You have got to be S****** me". *In response to New Salopia being overun by AAC, Mayor Towlie of Merrythought city decides to get a little high. *Some people in Telford have begun learning French in anticipation of the UN proposal "Vive le Telfordeois!" *Archeologists in Sakeskai have found ancient artworks and sculptures that suggest the previous inhabitants had a bizzare cock obsession, as depicted by their flag. *Worrying reports - a worldwide increase in various underground gatherings that seem to be Culists of the Machine God, the potentially dangerous pro-Masher religion. *kane deciedes that Kane Jr needs to learns some responsibility so while Kane goes to the Holdiay island to get high and escape the endless conflicts in Kaneland Kane Jr is put in change and promptly makes kaneland part of AAC and renames Kaneland as kaneJr land. *Kaneland launches a new wave of poweful veichles against the Stahl imperialists. *The Federation opens a new Nuclear research facilty near Taunusstein, purely for peaceful purposes. *Please vote in the 2013 Arsinos Awards, it'll be a nice way to celebrate 7 years of Mapzor on Sunday 8th December (which is also voting deadline). *Following the abandonment of the Dalanian EMP project, technicians begin developing new armour systems to benefit soldiers in battle. The first prototypes should be tested later this week. *Taylor Swifts popularity in Novak has skyrocketed after The Hunger Wars . She will soon tour Novak with the tour ending in Isimzia where she has begun an investigation into the recent dissents there *On a secret mission, Sethos is attacked and easily defeated by Masher. The unconscious leader is found and returned to Amun-Seth - his systems are rebooting but it will take some time. Amun-Seth is in disarray as it tries to find someone to fill Sethos' shoes until he recovers. *Upon becoming Chancellor Jorhan Stahl announces extra funding towards classified military projects in particluar the Uranprojekt details currently highly classified. *Election results in Stahl Federation Jorhan Stahl of the Nationalist party elected as chancellor with the Republicans losing many seats due to recent events. *UP and AS create the Treaty of Sesame Street, involving the construction of an AS embassy in UP (And a UP embassy in AS), an exchange programme between students of the universities and a trade agreement. *AAC and Stahl reach free trade agreement, as Stahl prepares to invade New Salopia. *Slashing through the snow where dismembered bodies lay, spreading christmas woe, it's the perfect time to slay! **AAC citizens take offense to the word slay being used so casually, so soon after Buffy's death. *Van Helsing unsuccessfully attempts suicide given the trauma sustained from the demon-rape incident. He is under 24 hour counselling in AAC. He has become a solitary and dishevelled figure, not the eager and brave Avenger he once was. **Technically Van Helsing was only an Avenger once... World Peace Ends *Kane Jr joins Stahl's efforts to take down Kane, citing the fact that they never let him do what he wants, and that he's not a kid anymore and has his own life. *AAC makes free trade agreements with both UP and Amun-Seth. *Dalania and AS enter a military and free trade alliance, involving a sharing of armed forces and resources. It is named the Treaty of the Dark Crusaders. *Amun-Seth invades the island of Kiel. A non-violent solution is found, and Stahl citizens and forces can leave the island and AS is free to ocupy it. Kiel is renamed to Damnos under AS control. AAC is given control over their half of the island back. *AAC surrenders Al'Falafel to Novak, whilst maintaining a small amount of land to found New Falafel *Temporary ceasefire declared by Stahl who annexes gains. THough everyone is certain after the toastervision the war will re-ignite *With the war in Kaneland shwoing no sign of ending kane encourages the Kanekand people to enter military service *The Avengers sucessfully foil a plot by Masher and Duccont to destroy the world using demon's of Khorne. However, both the criminals escape and go into hiding. It turns out Duccont used the people of Amun-Seth to free Masher, whilst Sethos was captured, so that he could build her another Steel Tide. However, Masher taught her to summon demons instead. The demons, for now, have been banished from Arsinos when the Silent Shadow sunk a dagger into the Arch-Demon's head. Word that Masher is still at large, and equipt with a new robotic form, has caused mass fear. *Following an attack on Amun-Seth by Demons of Khorne, which seem to be coming from the Island of Doom and were summoned by Laura Duccont, Van Helsing urges Sethos to assemble the Avengers in order to invade the island and destroy the Arch-Demon. Helsing wishes to learn how Duccont learnt to summon demons and why she would do such a thing. If left unchallenged, the demonic infestion could spell global disaster. *AAC civil war essentially ends. President Dave Grohl promises to call elections within the next week, as both sides become disillusioned with why they're actually finding, along with most rebels suspecting Laura Duccont has ulterior motives. This, coupled with the destruction of the AAC government has led many rebels to give up arms, along with President Grohl offering peace and civility. Van Helsing has urged world leaders to put Laura Duccont's name into an anagram solver. *Unusual activity on the Island of Doom. A thick red haze surrounds the island, blanketing the air from the sea to the sky in a hurrendous fog. Communication in and out of the Island was utterly impossible. Any attempts at entering the fog to find the island simply lead to the aircraft or ships simply disappearing and never returning... *AAC parliament building explodes and scatters itself into many pieces, along with a fair amount of Fort Vegasopolis' centre. It is suspected that this action came from the rebels who moved south. As the government were in session, it appears that the majority of the government were killed. *The battle of Deftonesville between the Aprillian rebels and the AAC army is well underway. So far neither side has made great advances, though AAC look to have the upper hand with better resources and the help of Stahl. It also seems to appear that some of the Aprillians have escaped south into mainland AAC during the carnage. Meanwhile, Van Helsing has been spotted in Aprillia. He is not fighting in the battle of Deftonesville, but instead he appears to be looking for something, or perhaps someone... *New Salopia send an armoured column to Kaneland to help with the defence of Kanesville but otherwise dig in to resist the AAC counterattack. Pirates after picking up some Aprilla refugees deiced to resupply by raiding the lighlty defenced Stahl coastline. *Shaderia wins the Rollertown Lottery and Fusonia becomes a Shaderian Protectorate alongside Lornon. In a move to encourage Fusonian happiness and sense of security The Fusherion Federation is born. *Pirates arrive in Aprilla and offer to evacuate anyone who wishes to make a life for themselves on the seas plundering for a living. *In response to the attack, AAC ICBMs Kanyewestville and sends Elastic Pipeline and Blue Carolina to bomb Kaneland and New Salopia. Stahl stops supporting Aprillia and aids in the attack on Kaneland, ICBMing Kanesville. AAC sees this as an opportunity to attack Aprillia in the north with the remainder of their force. AAC aint takin' shit from no-one no more. *Stahl Federation throws its forces agains the fortress line of South Kaneland and predictiby sustain high casulties while hardly advancing. *Aprillian prisoners are freed from prison camps but a shady looking guard. Prisoners are then given arms and proceed to kill and capture all of the guards, who they hugely outnumber. The Island Of Doom becomes Aprillian territory. *The Stahl Federation invades southern Kaneland with the aim of securing all territory south of the river whilst not including Kanesville. *Kane Industries launhes a new breakfast cerial. Try Crikles today! **They taste like Bigfoot's dick. *Sethos' meditations have been troubled lately. Trouble is brewing. Something bad is going to happen, soon... he predicts that the call for the Avengers shall have to be made once again to save the world... 6:00pm! If you can't make it and want to it can be a different time!' *A Novak-Kaneland-NS allience invades the AAC mainland area of DPRSJ and Al'Falafel each with its own expansionist aims. The war begins with a special forces strike on Ravetown airport followed by airstikes on infrastructure designed to delay the arrival of reinforcements. Kaneland and NS advance on DPRSJ whilst Novak sends in troops to Al'Falafel *AAC prepares to take seige of Deftonesville from Aprillia. *The birth of Kane Junior leads to much rejocing in kaneland. The first family of Kaneland want some time way from the cameras and Kane has proposed to Nigella offering a ring that is reportedly worth more than the GDP of Stahl. *Sethos confirms that the Sethians who have sided with the Aprillia government are all members of the Cult of the Machine God. He allows them to do as they please, but should they choose to return to Amun-Seth they will be expected to prove their loyalty again through trial by combat. *Novak conflict resolved shadily, elections held *The Steel Tide are called back to Amun-Seth by Sethos. However, for mysterious reasons, the majority of the Steel Tide remain in Aprillia. *Mr.T of Novak is saying that the Church of lunacy must allow control of Isimzia to be restored to the central government or face exclusion from the upcoming elections, as negotiations begin on settling the internal struggles. Novak forces are surrounding Isimzia. Mr.T has told Lupinis it is responsible for allowing communist factions within it to supply the Isimzian seperatists and says Novak will not negotiate with Moonmoons Willist captors until they do so. In the meantime it is expected the seige will be drawn out, the govt forces will not want to enter the city, instead keeping it under seige. This is due to Isimzia being trade dependent but also because it is an ancient site and people are reluctant to do battle if it would destory it *Sethos, in a move that goes against his very principles, orders the immediate release of the war criminal Masher from Amun-Seth prison. It is later revealed that the real Sethos was captured. He escapes, however, and returns to Amun-Seth to track down Masher. The Avengers briefly re-unite to help the search, but by this time it is too late. He's gone. *Aprillian forces start to form a border surrounding the areas formerly occupied by Dog Bollock. The start hanging up flags. Road to Zoio *Kaneland officially wins the Toastervision 12, and it has been confirmed they will host Toastervision 13. The winning song was Nemo by Nightwish. *It is confirmed that LibAc rebel leader April Harrison died in the massacre. New rebel leader Laura Duccont swears vengeance for her old friend. It has been rumoured that the two were lovers. Other rebel leader Matthew Boulton is detained in the Island Of Doom. The rebels retreat to Deftonesville, the abandoned city, where they are joined by the steel tide, the Amun Seth military forces, and the Stahl carrier SS Kiel. In honor of their former leader, the force is named Aprillia. *It appears unrest in UP is as far as it goes and there is no desire to openly fight the state. *Dalanian and AAC embassies in UP attacked and burned *An minister from Nigella's government has been seized and taken by an angry mob and on interrogation the minister admits to rebels that UP's previous government covered up their problems securing aircraft carriers from Sethos and that loggers only left because of Nigella's personal relationship. Not due to effective government policy. *On hearing of Hayley's death angry crowds gather outside UP's government assembly building. Furious that they allowed her to go *Following the violent massacre of AAC citizens, Hayley Williams is killed by gunfire. *UP government is dissolved in the run up to elections. Nigella makes her final speech in UP's assembly on the many different types of tart. She then departs with her lover Kane to Kaneland. In preparation for the birth of her baby. **A royal wedding would be hilarious. *Loggers move out UP into Stahl. *Nigella and Kane fall in love (Nigella seems to like bald men) and get busy in her kitchen. *In order to quell the rebellion, Sethos himself and a unit of Steel Tide guards fly to AAC to act as Hayley Williams' guard. He plans to try and save as many lives as possible and restore order. The military in Amun-Seth is mobilising as a precaution. *Hayley Williams arrives in AAC to help calm the situation down diplomatically. Rioters and protesters (Now calling themselves Liberation Action, or LibAc for short) are caught plotting a gunpowder attack on the AAC assembly buildings in Fort Vegasopolis. They are tried without jury and immediately flown to a top secret military prison camp, on the Island Of Doom. The news sparks fear of a full scale rebellion in many corners of AAC, with a McCarthy-esque witch-hunt of LibAc sympathisers, occurring nationwide, particularly in very pro-government cities such as Biffy Clyro & Paramoria. This in turn radicalises many members of the LibAc. *Sethos is growing concerned over a rising Sethian religion, the Cult of the Machine God, that worships the genoical war criminal, Masher, as a God and would see him set free. Though the cult claims to be entirely non-violent, they could present a risk as Masher supporters. *Troubles in AAC worsen as calls for the current government to step down by rioters and protesters are being ignored. The protesters claim that the government have long exceeded their term, and with the death of Buffy, the leader that the people voted for is no longer in place. The government and their supporters claim that times are too turbulent for the country to consider staging an election, especially after the devastation caused by the war of the table and the death of the president. Cities Don Bronco and (the already troubled) Fort Vegasopolis are rife with rioters and protests, with the government hinting that if they continue, they will have to involve the military. *Amun-Seth and Pullonia accepted into United Nations *New Salopian missionaries are said to be responsible for teh increase in violence against the Tacovian population of the falkland islands. *Logging in eastern UP continues dispite warnings and increasing policing. The loggers are said to be armed and grouchy. *Across the world, people are talking about the events of King Masher's fall. Rumours have it that the Avengers have formed in Arsinos... *Dalania announce that The Lake of Fallen Angels is an official memorial site to international leaders. This site will be open to the public, but will have military security. **Sethos requests a statue of Buffy to honor her sacrafice in the Fellowship. * The war criminal Masher, who Sethos decided to spare, is placed into a mortal human body once again by Sethos' advanced technology. Powerless, the prisoner is moved to a top security prison in the Spire, a new city being built in Amun-Seth. Many of the Sethians believe that Masher is a God, and his death could cause an uproar among the people, even though they see him for what he is - an evil genius. *The conflict between the CIS and USP is declared over when USP withdraws. *The Table is handed to the UN by the USP. *After belligerent protesting from other nations, USP has finally pulled out of Kaneland and given up The Table to the UN. For the first time in ages, Arsinos seems to have achieved world peace. *AAC president Buffy The Vampire Slayer dies while battling Masher. Riots spark up in AAC from factions that didn't support the governments decision to send her in to battle, and those that supported Masher. *The fall of a titan! King Masher is defeated! Sethos rallies the Steel Tide as sentient machines back in his country and begins the long process of rebuilding his nation. *Technotoad is smothered to death on the frontlines by Janice, ex-ruler of Lexilo. *Thanks to a rogue AAC spy, King Masher has learned the location of Sethos in USP. For supporting the rebels, he launches his invasion of USP early and attacks in what promises to be a pretty huge fight. He is unaware of the Fellowship's plan, however. Sethos prepares the nations for war by providing military intel and electronic upgrades that will assist the defenders, and continues preparing the virus for King Masher. *Sethos, Steel Tide rebel leader, organises a meeting of world leaders to discuss King Masher's ambitions. He begins assisting USP with preparing defenses for the inevitable Steel Tide invasion from DB. This leads to the formation of The Fellowship Of The Arse-Stick. *A space pod crashes in DB. Out of it comes Janice - ex queen of Lexilo. She has come for techno toad. Who she affectionally refers to as her "little toodles!" *Dalanian military scientists have begun the development and production of combat drones, to be used (potentially) in the place of conventional foot soldiers. *Sethos arrives at Vettin with his gang of Steel Tide rebels. He makes an urgent request that the UN meet with him in top secret ASAP regarding a matter of potential global catastrophy. As a show of good faith, he hands control of his aircraft carrier, The Reverend, to USP. *USP announces development of an anti WMD system *Treaty of Milk and Cereal between USP and SE. Allowing SE bases and troops to be stationed in the USP. Some SE aircraft carriers will also be built in USP ports which have the space. *Dalania have begun to develop high-range, high-impact, non-nuclear EMP weapons, with the intention of disabling large scale systems with minimal risk. *King Masher pulls the Steel Tide out of Dalania after an appeasement is made. *public announcement: pullonia has begun to process of builiding a warriors palace with 20 decorative WMDs , 100 decorative tanks and 10 decorative aircraft carriers *Buffy has gone on record to compare Pullonia to the retarded toddler of Arsinos. *the people in pullonia are all bannaed from real relationships and must shag anyone and everyone, they are genetically engineered to become pregnant 1000% easier and so pregnancy always produces 5 children at a time, there is also genetic changes so they age twice as fastdpole. **King Masher: 'Nobody cares about you scabby people, we will harvest you again soon.' **king masher, are you aware that this nation is on your side you retard...ole. ***King Masher: 'You are nothing. You will be assimilated.' ***bored of your shit masher *Pullonia makes a comeback. *Mr.T authorises an expeditionary blimp fleet lead by RNAS Urpet to move south of Sarluka to defend North Novak and put troops on the ground which can occupy Sarluka for their own safety. MEanwhile RNAS Isimzia is stationed on the border and RNAS Taldraza is sent to the northeast for unspecified reasons linked to the internal conflict. In Isimzia the Church of Lunacy has won favour over the communists who go into hiding. *'2nd ABU report ''' *Dog Bollock invades western Dalania with the intention of harvesting for biomass. *King Masher publically announces the identity of the rebel leader, a machine named Sethos, and intends to find and crush this uprising quickly and swiftly. He issues a bounty on Sethos' head. Following this, the rebels take control of a Steel Tide aircraft carrier, renaming it The Reverend, and set sail for the Sea of Mermaids where King Masher will be too far to reach them. *At the statue of Rebecca Black in Shrewsbury expats and sympathisers light candels and pay their respects. In the outskirts of Shrewsbury gunshots are heard, which turns out to be Novak expats at eachothers throats being on the opposite sides of the divide in their homeland. The chasm has also lead to an insider outing one of the spy-rings that was set up in Shrewsbury during the occupation. *Steel Tide naval patrols increase in the Whargarbl Sea, with small fleets patrolling the borders of Dog Bollock up and down. King Masher has returned to the Steel Tower, as has the Technotoad. *Vigils are being held in Lotiripol as the govt finaly admits Blacks death. Mr.T says "for the good of Randocracy we must stay strong and remember that Friday shall come again!" *Lunatic militant leaders try to intimidate the Brotherhood of Gabranth by saying Lupinis will intervene in Novak, in response Lupinis leader Moonmoon who was recently released into Lotiripol from captive in the palace has been kidnapped by the BOG in response with his safety being "dependant on the non-intervention of Lupinis" *Crisis in Novak As sectarian violence intensifies, the situation is made worse by news of Rebecca Blacks death in the Xehopi hospital, confirmed by Taylor Swift and denied by interim leader of Novak General Mr.T. The centre and south remains patriotic and loyal to her government, though in the North Gabranthian and Liberal factions have formed. In the west Lunatic and Communist factions have emerged and in the East the problem is not so much rebellion as it is violence between members of the Lunatic church and the Brotherhood of Gabranth. * *The confederacy of Independent States is formed for mutual defence. *United Provinces has a hissy fit and the Spiderpig union attacks peaceful kaneland. *Kaneland launches missiles at Big Brother House after United Provinces attempts to rienstate Rebecca Black. *AAC begins reconstruction of Oil Rigs in West Portas Ocean in an attempt to get its economy back on track after the ending of the war of the table. The Table is turning *The Steel Tide Rebellion starts after King Masher loses control of a small number of his army, being distracted by the War of the Table. He is apparently pretty pissed off and blames the Technotoad. *Shaderian/SE forces retreat. Land Forces in Fort Vegas go scorched land policy where it is possible and a few rogue Shaderian terrorists stay behind to cause havoc. *AAC sign a deal with the devil and ask DB for help. In exchange for a foothold in a ruined deftonesville DB advance on the Shaderian/SE forces with their aircraft carriers and Kiel based airforce. *TABLE GOES MISSING FROM THE WRECKAGE. *Huge battle ensues, Deftonesville is practically levelled by another round of Shaderian ICBM's. *Ship carrying the table is destroyed by flying unicorn cats along with several carriers being destroyed or badly damaged. *Away from the festivities of Toastervision the Technotoad is spotted once again, this time near Madrid. He has again disappeared from sight, however. Tracks have revealed he has returned to Dog Bollock borders. *Rumours are spreading that the Technotoad is cheating on King Masher and is having inappropriate relationships with a Shaderian Tadpole.s S***. **King Masher: 'Get your cybernetic ass back to Kiel and oversee the harvest of the island. You don't even have genitals. Silly toad.' The rumours were, indeed, true. *The pirates have arrived in Shaderia and are eager to strech ther legs after a long voyage. Captain Jack Sparrow is looking for King Solomon after devising a way to steal his S***. **Solomon, Countessa Tamik, Baron Samedi and a small contingent of castle guards leave to confront these hapless pirates, planning to attack during the night, they arrange for darklings to be provided once they near the coast. **A few cannon rounds ought to take care of those pesky darklings (whatever they might be). *Shaderia launches ICBM's at coordinates at 4.3,6.8 to try and destroy the bridge to Fort Vegas. *GlenAgainBeginAgain is sent from Shaderia to fight for the table, some planes have been removed in order to make room for supplies which will be distributed amongst the shaderian vessels. ABU Newsfeed ticker broadcast from Loveshack: Rail to Rio completed from zoio, Xehopi-madrid rail nearing completion. Rio airport is operational and landland intl' is in final stages. Shaderian and Aacese airports heavily affected by Table war. DB completes its Adolf Airbase on the site of former Kiel. SE and USP bases are nearing completion. UN position on future of Fusonia is still cloudy, in the meantime the UNEC has been tasked with bringing Dominoes Pizza to justice. UP still requires 3 votes for UN entry. Carriers Jesse Pinkman, Glenagainbeginagain and an un-named USP airborne carrier are ready for battle. In economic news, oil production of SE and USP increases in West Portas and Loveless ocean. Concerns are arising about how well protected the USP rigs are in light of the strikes on the East Portas rigs. AAC begins major efforts to bring its damaged rigs back online. The western hemisphere suffers greatly as a result of the war of the table, particularly the AAC and Shaderia travel to which is suspended from various countries, especially the AAC where the bulk of the conflict is taking place. With troops on their soil and travel dwindling AAC economy is at a standstill, Shaderias is also slowing due to the massive diversion of resources to sustain such a war. Detailed update on war of the table to follow. More importantly, stay tuned for Toastervision 12!!! *Taking the initiative, Shaderia launch some MIRV's at the AAC airbase in Deftonesville and deploy Sacrenoir the Death Knight and Mortimer Goth the Necromancer in Fort Vegas to better organise the ground troops. **AAC responds by sending ICBM's to Oasis. *After harassing the locals and stealig their weed the pirates set off for Shaderia for more looting and to steal Solomon's S***. *The pirates attack DPRSJ while AAC appears to be engaged in the war of the table. *A recent opinion poll suggests that Shaderia has the lowest personal hygine of any nation. Kane industries sends a few crates of toothpaste samples but it is rumoured to be addictive. *kaneland board of health is disbanded after angry citizens on mobility scooters burn down the ministry of health after the controversial policy of reccommending to citizens that they eat 5 fruit/ veg per day. *Kane lands a leading role in the popular video game series Conquer and Command where he will play the hero who abuses his people to get S*** done for some kind of mystical purpose or something. *Shaderia launches ICBM's to 4.2, 6.8 in order to stop AAC land forces from Don Bronco reaching the occupied zone so easily. Stealth Jets are also being dispatched to send care packages of ammunition, medicine and food rations to the footsoldiers. *AAC airborne carrier Air Force 7 is sunk in the war of the table. Shaderia now has intelligence as to the location of the table. As such, nobody is allowed in or out of the ship carrying the table, and the the entire AAC navy and airforce focuses solely on defending the table. *The Technotoad was spotted briefly in Dalania recently. He has since disappeared. *The newly formed Union of the Spiderpig (USP) increases funding towards Oil rigs in West Portas in an effort to increase supply and fix the global economy. *King Masher creates the Technotoad to be a general to his army. *Noel Flies to the Falklands *Spanish speaking protestors from the off world planet of Argenitina demand the return of the falkland islands from Salopia as this was the birthplace of the famous spanish prophet Saint Taco and was brutally killed when offering drunken Salopian sailers a cup of water. Meanwhile a small group of missionaries from New Salopia have arrived on the Falkland islands and are attempting to pursuade the islanders to become part of New Salopia. There is potential for a diplomatic row if there is a crackdown on the protestors or missionaries. *Shaderian carrier Krakos is sunk in the War of the Table. More carriers are completed on both sides. Shaderia bombs and occupies Fort Vegasopolis. *Heisenberg sends an armed response team, contracted from Kanish immigrants and Pirates, to find wherever the hell this "Hellgate" that Bragg spoke of is. *"You killed Aunt Sarah, you son of a bitch, now you're going to pay!" Jackie sends this video to Heisenberg. It depicts Jackie killing Heisenburg's distributor known by the name of Bragg. *Members of the Estacado family seem to be coming down with an unknown sickness. Doctors suspect it could be ricin poisoning. *The leader of Shaderia's main crime syndicate, Jackie Estacado, is very unhappy with Heisenberg's attempts to sell drugs on Shaderian soil, Jackie is old school mafiosa and will not tolerate this drug running from rivals and especially from his own men. The Estacado Family will launch merciless and brutal attacks should any drug runners be caught on Shaderian ground. Several mutilated corpses have already been discovered in underground dens. *King Masher begins the harvest of Los Camp and the whole island, intending to leave it nothing but a desolate wasteland as usual. *The pirates retreat from the Falkland Islands with only a few sheep after being repelled by the forces defending this islands. The pirates go off in search of easier prey. *The mass evacuation leaves Los Camp largely deserted, though a large number of Shaderian and SE troops still remain there. They seek to take advantage of the island for as long as they can before the Steel Tide arrive. Captured AAC generals and "citizens of interest" have been flown to Shaderia as prisoners of war. Shaderia has already deduced that the table must be on one of nine naval vessel and is close to taking it for themselves. *After having occupied the island city of Los Camp for the past few days, and using it as refueling station for allied aircraft, Shaderian troops offer to aid in the evacuation of AAC civilians. Despite the war Shaderia are not evil and will not allow innocent people to be harvested by King Masher. Modrid gets a bollocking *The pirates know who Heisenberg really is and recommend that he keeps out of their turf or William Brookes might need a new chemistry teacher. *Solarchapel had already been evacuated several days before, resulting in small amounts of deaths to what there could have been. However, Solarchapel was the multi-cultural beacon of Shaderia and quite possibly the world, playing host to numerous religious and cultural monuments of significance. Many people throughout the map, who had some form of culture based there, become irritated with the AAC. **Though this doesn't mean they support Shaderia either, they too have committed atrocities. *Heisenberg contracts pirates to sell meth overseas and on the far side of the continent in places such as Kiel, Dalania, Shaderia and Stahl Empire. If the Pirates don't return the majority of the profit to Heisenberg, his spies and employees will take them out in the most brutal ways possible. *AAC sends 6 more ICBMs to Solarchapel. *The cities Kiel and Pleasure Town are completely stripped for carrier parts. In Pleasure Town's place, King Masher's Steel Palace rises. *The 2nd UNEC takes over made up of Councillor Fring, Councillor Obushma and Councillor Krushev *After the recent naval defeat against DB the Stahl Federation's Reichstag vote to increase miltary spending on the navy in an effort to return the navy to its former strength from when Stahl was an empire. *Kane industries is given control of Kaneland in a contract to improve industrial production and build a modern and efficient state. Start the chainsaws and the drils and let the exploitation begin. *The forges in Dog Bollock fire on full blast as the harvested biomass is converted into new Steel Tide forces and put towards the construction of all carriers and a new airbase is announced in former-Kiel in order to concentrate on a more powerful robotic air force. The harvest of Kiel fuels the continued construction of the army. King Masher sits in his palace, quite giddy. Poisonous air pollution from the forges threatens to drift over into the Wharrgarbl Sea. *The table is moved onto an AAC ship, part of a huge naval fleet, ready to do battle in both the sea and the skies. A very brutal/bloody battle ensues. *AAC fires more ICBMs at Shaderia, this time aimed at Talkeenta. AAC attempts to attack Shderian forces at Los Camp by using a trident formation, with forces heading from Paramoria via the Channel of Last Hope, alongside the forces heading via Wrgbl sea (headed by Nick Fury), alongside the forces that were already in the Fozamese channel doing pretty much what they were anyway, the aim being to corner certain pockets of the Shaderian navy and either take them out or force a retreat. The air force also bombs the crap out of Shaderia forces both on land and at sea, while simultaneously trying to shoot Shaderian planes out of the sky. *Despite past differences and hostility. UP and Stahl unite forming "The Union of the Spider-pig" (USP) *Remaining former Lexilolian states join UP in response to unease around the world. *After Kiel suffers dramatically at the hands of DB, Stahl offers them the land in exchange for peaceful relations. Stahl forces leave the island along with the last Stahlian aircraft carrier. DB prepares to harvest Kiel. *AAC supercarrier Nick Fury arrives in Paramoria, though most Shaderian forces are sunk or have fled. But this diversion shall buy Shaderia precious time. Nick Fury heads back towards the fozamese channel. *SE sends mobile fighter launchers to stahl so they can re-enforce kiel and gain a slight advantage in the air *The noble AC GlenAgain is sunk near western AAC. GlenAgain BeginAgain shall be built in his honour. AAC aircraft carriers Agent Coulson and Iron Man are sunk trying to defend the table. HMS Executioner flees from western AAC. *King Masher commands the Steel Tide to make landfall upon the island near Kiel and begin harvesting it, both Stahl's and AAC's controlled area. In for a penny, in for a pound. *Environmentalists arrive in Mordrid and set up an eco friendly tree planting centre. Lets give the forest a hand man and like plant some trees and S***. *The Steel Tide pulls out of Modrid after all harvestable biomass is scorched, making King Masher lose interest. Instead, the carriers and naval fleets are diverted to Kiel to blockade Stahl and the ground and air troops, along with the king himself, return to Dog Bollock. *Shaderian aircraftcarrier GlenAgain along with the HMS Executioner attack Paramoria. Several planes take advantage of the war to destroy AAC oil rigs. *Modrid is evactuated where it can be and scortched earth policy is begun *Advert: Are you tired of thieves stealing your property. Do you wish there was a safe place to store your valuables. Look no further than Holiday island holdings Safe Deposit boxes. Now available in table dimensions. Just quote "protect my stash" to our customer care advisor and your will never have to worry about theft again. And that's a promise* *King Masher splits his naval fleet in half - sending four carriers to intercept and sink the Stahl Federation's supercarrier, but leaving Bill and Ben behind to support the harvest of Modrid. Once the super carrier is sunk, the remaining forces shall be dealt with and the fleet will begin bombing Kiel as penance. Meanwhile in Modrid, King Masher leads the Steel Tide at a steady pace further west. Aerial bombing runs, supported by Bill and Ben, concentrate and the resistance's airbourne carriers in an attempt to bring them down before the Tide reaches them. *AAC's entire army, navy and air force prepare to forcibly eject the Shaderian sum from the Fozamese channel and defend the table at al costs. This war shall be bloody and brutal. *The Stahl Federation uses forces including the supercarrier Shield deployed in Kiel to invade northern DB in the area that was once Pullonia. *Shaderian forces, led by Marquise de Aversa and Alistaire Crue, attack the island where the table is being held. They arrive onboard aircraft carrier Krakos. SE forces also assist in the attack. SE's aircraft carrier HMS executioner leaves for Shaderia to help protect it from the anticipated AAC attack. *The Stahl Federation sends troops to fight DB in Modrid sending roughly half of available forces via land. The other half are sent to Kiel for as of this moment an unknown reason. *Kane retires to the holiday island to set up an offshire tax haven and signs a ceasfire aggreement with Stahl in return for a 20% loss of the southern territory. New Salopia declared an independent state and the rest of Kaneland reverts to a nomadic desert lifstyle. *Air power tips current Kane-Stahl war in Stahls favour. Segways buisiness is booming. *Steel Tide continues harvest of Modrid while the United Provinces receives support from other former-Lexilo states and a Mr.T led Novak-Lupinis force Category:Gay